The biggest reason is at times Facebook feels like being on the outside looking in to me. It is like standing outside in the pitch black looking in on a group of friends all cozy inside a warm, well lit home. You can see them laugh and joke and from the outside it looks so inviting and fun. But you are on the outside. They can't see you and you are alone. And the sadness is suffocating at times. I realize I can't be apart of everything. But when I go through a stage of being apart of nothing that is when I feel this way about Facebook.
Another is regrets. If there is someone who has hurt me or I have hurt them it is hard to see reminders on Facebook through mutual friends. Some situations can't be fixed and Facebook is great for reminding me of that. And even though it shouldn't, being blocked bothers me. It has me questioning how I should behave when my path inevitably crosses the blockee.
Trying to not offend or be offended. This one is hard and apart of my struggle to be the person I want to be. I don't want to attack people for believing differently than I but I also hate being afraid of sharing my beliefs in causes or faith. I know in my head you can't make everyone happy and I shouldn't worry but I also don't want to be an offensive person. I have had to ignore sharp barbs when people post what feels like hate speech towards things I believe in. And I don't want to do that to other people. So for the most part I try to keep my opinions off Facebook. But I can't lie, I am so very opinionated and it is sometimes so hard to do that. I find myself before posting asking myself how this would come across and does it really need to be said. And I also don't want to be wrong on Facebook. Seriously, way to let everyone know how wrong you are. Along with this is the feeling that I can't quite be myself. But, since I don't really know what that is yet, c'est la vie.
Why I love Facebook?
Candy Crush...
I'm kidding. Sorta.
I love seeing updates on my friends lives. Pictures and comments. I like the funnies and the serious discussions. I like being included in events and knowing about them beforehand! I like sharing photos of my children with people who otherwise would never get to see them because they are too far. I like staying in touch with the people I care about and I know care about me. Some of these things can get into why I hate Facebook but for the most part I enjoy it. And I realize my mood and attitude have the most to do with when Facebook brings me down not actually Facebook itself.
So I have decided today not to deactivate my Facebook despite the desire to do so at the moment. I might change my mind again one day but for now I think I will stay around. And the awesome weekend I had camping is just one reason why!
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