Feelings of contement

I am not a very content person. It isn't that I am unhappy all the time but rather I have this inner restless feeling. Matt teases me about it because I love to plan trips and travel. That really helps me a lot. I love my husband, children, farm and life. There is always something more I want or feel I need. But I am realizing that isn't always bad. It keeps me from being complacent. I just need to not dwell on that have not too much. Or the "someday". It is another balance thing with me. Enjoy today but still have dreams for tomorrow so to speak. And to know which dreams I need to pick and choose. Even though I currently don't have a horse I could compete on, I haven't given up the dream, I will again. And with my children. I have plans and dreams for my property to turn it into even more of a paradise than it is. I also want to travel still and see new places. At this point I have given up my dream of being a writer. I am just not as good at it as I hoped. And I have accepted that. And getting published or trying to was not something I enjoyed.

But today? Today I had a strong feeling of contentment and peace. A true "feeling" of thankfulness for what God has given me. And it came when I was holding my cup of coffee and looking out the window.

 My dad and husband working on our garage. They get along really well even though it was a rough road bringing Matt into my family. That is in the past now. And of course behind me was this.

 Two children, painting quietly with a warm fire crackling in the background. I have so much to be thankful for but I am not going to feel guilty for my dreams either. I am just going to hang on to these special moments of contentment while knowing there is more to come. This isn't the end for me, just the beginning.